So the other day Cindy and Peggy were talking about a mutual friend, it was more like, one was reporting the mutual friend to the other. “Nessa has refused to call me, and when I called she neither picked nor returned my call”, Cindy was of the opinion that Nessa was avoiding her or something of that sort. Peggy replied her saying; “I called her the other day and she hung up on me, let’s just avoid her, I wonder why she is behaving like that”. They both agreed to give her space.
My question is, did they actually know why she wasn’t picking, or why she hung up the call? It was obvious she wasn’t like that, but they were quick to conclude that she was ignoring them.
Replaying the whole thing in my head, it could be that Nessa had a faulty phone, that did not let her pick up Cindy’s call or even return them; or that network was crappy and it ended the call abruptly while speaking to Peggy. Another angle could be that, Cindy’s calls came through when she was indisposed to pick up the call or probably wasn’t with her phone and while she was talking to Peggy, her phone battery died. I could go on and on, giving different analogies as to why Nessa wasn’t at fault.
Taking the side of Peggy and Cindy, you can assume that Nessa was actually ignoring them even without listening to Nessa’s part of the story. It is very possible that Nessa was trying to avoid them; but on the other hand what if that was not the case and she had a lot of issues that couldn’t let her reach out to them, they would have just assumed for nothing.
I also know that sometimes people would also want to paint their stories to suit themselves and it could be A’s word against B’s word and vice versa. In such a case it’s quite difficult to know who is telling the truth or not.
My point exactly is, one shouldn’t just jump into conclusions without getting to hear from the other party. Just the other day I was talking to someone on the phone and the call ended, before I could get through to the person, his call came through and all he could say was “why did you end the call?”; I was shocked to say the least. He could have simple asked what happened or in a more polite manner ask; “did you end the call?” If A tells you something about B, try to get B’s story, if possible, try to meet with the both of them at the same time.
In listening to all the parties involved, it’s easier to solve the issue than listening to just one side of the story. Sometimes, it could just be a matter of miscommunication, or lack of understanding. There are times you’d listen to two parts of a story to realize that they are both not at fault, but because they did not communicate well, they missed the mark.
I want to believe that there is usually a reason for everything, find out why someone is behaving in a particular way without having to assume anything, give the benefit of the doubt especially if it’s not a usual behavior.
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